Next in The Neuro Linguistic Programming Workbook: A Practical Guide to Achieving the Results You Want, Joseph O’Connor deals with the ecology of things.
No, he is not talking about how to save whales or protect Earth from global warming.
Ecology has to be understood as the effects that your outcome will have. Because maybe you apparently want the outcome in the short term, but you may not desire or be prepared to deal with the consequences of your outcome.
If that is the case, not only you will feel sorry for your choices but also you may sabotage yourself in pursuing your goals.
Let’s examine Shock and Awe, the version of getting a Fool’s Mate game (an instant seduction that will lead to sex in some minutes instead of 4-10 hours as classically described in The Venusian Arts Handbook).
According to many prominent members in the seduction community, the result of instant sex can be a hollow and depressive feeling. My guess is that this is a clear example of ecology not receiving proper attention.
What is ecology, then?
According to O’Connor, ecology is a concern for the overall system. You check if your changes in specific areas are not going to cause negative side-effects in other areas. NLP takes ecology as an important part to keep an overall balance of the system.
You have internal ecology, which can be checked with questions such as “is this worth the price?”, “what are the wider consequences of my action?” and so on. Basically, it is checking if that is what you really want. Check your own gut.
I remember when I met Nathan from RSD last year and that is probably what he meant. Nathan talked for about three minutes. But in such short time he made a powerful communication that I still remember: Feel your own gut. Be who you are meant to be.
There is also an external ecology. What are the consequences for people who are important to you? Here again I see a reason why there are reports of depression when using Shock and Awe without having a true human connection.
In internal ecology, we want love. Yes, that’s right, even contrary to all that the flashy TV commercials and media and entertainment industry may lead us to believe. Sex is not enough, but some of us will only learn this by experience.
In the external ecology, we want our girls to feel happy! And we feel miserable when she regrets having sex on the next day, and avoids to even looking at our face when we both see each other on the street.
So the old saying remains true: be careful what you ask for. Do your ecology tests in advance when preparing your outcome statements. This will maximize your efficacy in achieving your goals by avoiding self-sabotage and will lead you to much more happiness and away from dissatisfaction and pain.
(continues)
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