9. We already have the resources we need. Or we can create them.
As an unfolding of pressuposition 4, we are resourceful people. Maybe we can be temporarily in a state of mind that does not help much, but this can be changed.
10. Mind and body form a system. They are different expressions of one person.
This one is key to using NLP for better relationships. Think of the last time you and your friends were in the car driving to a party, banging your heads, shaking your shoulders and arms to the rhythm of your favourite music. Can be a classic rock n’roll, a cheesy Hed Kandi house hit of the season or anything else that puts you into state.
Now with this song in your mind, do exactly the same movements you did in the car. Shake your bones. Don’t worry, nobody is watching.
If you followed this simple exercise you noticed that with these movements of your body your mental state has also changed. Perhaps even your breathing and heart beats have got accelerated as well.
Point being, the mind and the body are two entities of a single unity: you. When we want to promote changes in our mind, we can use our body and the other way round is also true. Thinking differently will make our body respond differently.
This can be used make yourself more relaxed and less analytical. Very useful to deal with approach anxiety. We will discuss more on the practical uses later.
Something that derives from this pressuposition that is also equally important is that by being a good observer of the body you can be able to read which mental state the other person is probably in. This is a powerful tool for communication.
Tyler has an excellent article describing how women can be in lockup or unlocked states. Not only you should be able to notice this according to the blowoff answers she gives, but also by her facial expression and body language, which reflect her mental state.
11. We process information through our senses
Thus, to get “superpowers” it is important to develop our senses. The more precise they are the better information will be processed by us.
12. Modelling successful performance leads to excellence
This is one of the reasons that From Victor With Love goes into the minimal details of the reviewed products of the selected Mentors.
Remember pressupositions 4 and 9: you work perfectly and you have all the resources. You can learn from successful models and replicate the success and get better results. For that, it is important to understand that each person is different (remember the fly vision example?). As your map is different from the map from your Mentor, you should not try to clone him. You can get some results, but these will not be optimized to your reality.
Instead, it is important to examine why each of these models are successful and then, understanding the underlying reasons, adapt and incorporate their patterns into your personality so you can organically improve your own maps of reality. Learn from your Mentors, but do not copy-paste what they do.
Just to illustrate, I’ve seen some friends trying to use Mystery Method in telling, word by word, the same DHV (demonstrations of higher value) stories… from Mystery! I know one guy who completely stole the story of the stripper girlfriend who was chased by Biff-from-Back-to-the-Future bullies that Mystery tells in one of his seminars. Sometimes some girls fall into it, because it is indeed a story with lots of emotional spikes and DHVs. But I am sure that deep inside he does not feel proud of telling a story he stole from someone else. And for the good observer, it looks incongruent in some points, no matter how good his delivery is.
The punch line is: adapt the methods to your character and life experiences. You can borrow some lines as a training wheel for some time. But do not become a social robot.
13. If you want to understand, act
This is what you have seen many times before. Do not become a seminar junkie! Just trying to understand all this without practicing, as Tyler says, is like reading a book on lifting weights and never actually lifting weights!
The other opposite is also true. If you just do things without having absolutely no theory from some Mentor or a good ability to examine your actions, take feedback and be flexible with different approaches (and then creating your own theories), you will hardly progress.
The balance is in between. Get the knowledge. Apply it. Go experiment. It does not matter if you do not get it right on the first times. It is not failure; it is feedback to calibrate your knowledge into applied practice. Just do it.
(continues)
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